A Grateful, Humble, and Hopeful Heart

The past several weeks I've been struggling with some unknown health issues. Although not debilitating, it's been physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. It's not been diagnosed, discovered or treated accordingly. I'm a worrier by nature. That hasn't helped in alleviating anything, nor making me feel better. We are hoping that we are closing in on whatever it is that is causing these problems, and hoping to get some answers.
Through the past several weeks, I have found myself struggling with why I couldn't cope well with what was going on. I can't even imagine suffering from a painful, debilitating life illness. I thought I was a little tougher, or stronger, but I fully surrender to the fact that I've not handled it well. One of the most difficult things has been my ability to feel like I am providing my kids with the best of attention and care, or being able to be the wife I fully expect of myself. I pride myself in not allowing my kids to be entertained by television or alternative sources. To being able to give them fun things to experience, trips to the library, outings to enjoy nature, etc. I enjoy being with and spending time with my kids. Giving them the best of me and my time, and they are the best of me. I've also struggled emotionally with knowing that I wasn't able to keep the house clean, dishes done, and meals made. It's been a huge effort. ALthough it's not what Mike expects, my kids expect, or outside influences expect. It's just me. It's my personality, it's in my blood. It's been an emotional rollercoaster.
But through all of this, and although I've been a little of a mess, my heart is so full, humbled and grateful for all the love, prayers and well wishes I have felt. It's the month of "Thanks". It's a time to reflect on blessings, good health, a steady job, roof over the head, warm meals to eat, and family abound. Even if it wasn't the month to publically remember all of this, I would do so anyway. I have felt so humbled and grateful to my family for all of their prayers, calls of concerns, and special blessings sent our/my way. For their faith in medicine and faith that things will work out for the best. It's encouraging, it's humbling, and it's a reminder as to how much my life is so blessed. How not to take little things for granted, and sometimes, it's ok to allow yourself to ask for help and support both physically and mentally. I'm grateful to my brother for providing me with comfort when I needed it, and for my parents taking time out of their lives to attend to my families needs. I am grateful. I am humble. I am hopeful.