Another post with yet any pictures! I'll try to edit or see if I have any pictures from the holiday week, but wanted to post something while my mind was still fresh with "Thanks". On Friday, November 18th, we lost dear Grandma Leila. She struggled long and hard to stay with us and told the Doctor to do all he could so she could see her Great Grandbabies grow. But her body was weak, and tired, and longing for some peace and healing I'm sure. I'm Thankful that when the kids and I saw her a month ago, she was healthy and getting stronger in the Care Center. She was always so happy to see the kids. She couldn't have been more proud of our kids that day, showing them off and telling everyone "these are my great grandbabies"! Oh how she loved them. I'm Thankful for the memory of her waving from the cafeteria that last time. Mike was also able to see her just a few days before her passing and even though she lay in pain, mostly sedated, and very weak, she was able to open her eyes for him. To see pictures he showed of her grandbabies, and that all she wanted in those finally moments, was to see their faces and feel the love. SHe was a wonderful lady and her service was perfect. Reflecting on her life as a truly wonderful, kind and loving lady who could hunt, fish, start a fire, bake, joke, and most importantly love. I find it very endearing that my husband and his cousins were able to grow up with such loving and involved grandparents on both sides. I never knew that and it's why it's so important that we are closer to our parents and that they are involved in our kids lives and they make memories with them. His Grandma and Grandpa were married for 62 years. A very close and loving couple, it is so hard to see Grandpa alone, but he is surrounded by his loving family and I'm sure that has made this easier.
The evening before Thanksgiving, Mike's dad was driving home from Boise and was invovled in a car accident. THANKFULLY, he was bruised, banged up, a few staples in his head, but he was alive. Until I saw the pictures of his truck, it didn't really hit me how amazing it was that he is still with us, and escaped with so little injuries!! Someone was truly watching over him that night! We are so grateful he was ok, and Thanksgiving the next day gave us a real reason to be Thankful.
In the madness that ensues the holiday and all us retail employees know, it's hard to go from feeling so blessed and watched over, to feeling so rushed and onto the next emotion of the year.
I was also so Thankful for the week I spent at my parents and the help that they all gave me along with my sisters in taking the kids and allowing me to lay around, get some rest, and start to feel better.
We head into a crazy time in our lives, but I think this month I will continue to reflect on the week we had of being truly shown what life, family, and being Thankful is about.
11/13/11
A Grateful, Humble, and Hopeful Heart
The past several weeks I've been struggling with some unknown health issues. Although not debilitating, it's been physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. It's not been diagnosed, discovered or treated accordingly. I'm a worrier by nature. That hasn't helped in alleviating anything, nor making me feel better. We are hoping that we are closing in on whatever it is that is causing these problems, and hoping to get some answers.
Through the past several weeks, I have found myself struggling with why I couldn't cope well with what was going on. I can't even imagine suffering from a painful, debilitating life illness. I thought I was a little tougher, or stronger, but I fully surrender to the fact that I've not handled it well. One of the most difficult things has been my ability to feel like I am providing my kids with the best of attention and care, or being able to be the wife I fully expect of myself. I pride myself in not allowing my kids to be entertained by television or alternative sources. To being able to give them fun things to experience, trips to the library, outings to enjoy nature, etc. I enjoy being with and spending time with my kids. Giving them the best of me and my time, and they are the best of me. I've also struggled emotionally with knowing that I wasn't able to keep the house clean, dishes done, and meals made. It's been a huge effort. ALthough it's not what Mike expects, my kids expect, or outside influences expect. It's just me. It's my personality, it's in my blood. It's been an emotional rollercoaster.
But through all of this, and although I've been a little of a mess, my heart is so full, humbled and grateful for all the love, prayers and well wishes I have felt. It's the month of "Thanks". It's a time to reflect on blessings, good health, a steady job, roof over the head, warm meals to eat, and family abound. Even if it wasn't the month to publically remember all of this, I would do so anyway. I have felt so humbled and grateful to my family for all of their prayers, calls of concerns, and special blessings sent our/my way. For their faith in medicine and faith that things will work out for the best. It's encouraging, it's humbling, and it's a reminder as to how much my life is so blessed. How not to take little things for granted, and sometimes, it's ok to allow yourself to ask for help and support both physically and mentally. I'm grateful to my brother for providing me with comfort when I needed it, and for my parents taking time out of their lives to attend to my families needs. I am grateful. I am humble. I am hopeful.
Through the past several weeks, I have found myself struggling with why I couldn't cope well with what was going on. I can't even imagine suffering from a painful, debilitating life illness. I thought I was a little tougher, or stronger, but I fully surrender to the fact that I've not handled it well. One of the most difficult things has been my ability to feel like I am providing my kids with the best of attention and care, or being able to be the wife I fully expect of myself. I pride myself in not allowing my kids to be entertained by television or alternative sources. To being able to give them fun things to experience, trips to the library, outings to enjoy nature, etc. I enjoy being with and spending time with my kids. Giving them the best of me and my time, and they are the best of me. I've also struggled emotionally with knowing that I wasn't able to keep the house clean, dishes done, and meals made. It's been a huge effort. ALthough it's not what Mike expects, my kids expect, or outside influences expect. It's just me. It's my personality, it's in my blood. It's been an emotional rollercoaster.
But through all of this, and although I've been a little of a mess, my heart is so full, humbled and grateful for all the love, prayers and well wishes I have felt. It's the month of "Thanks". It's a time to reflect on blessings, good health, a steady job, roof over the head, warm meals to eat, and family abound. Even if it wasn't the month to publically remember all of this, I would do so anyway. I have felt so humbled and grateful to my family for all of their prayers, calls of concerns, and special blessings sent our/my way. For their faith in medicine and faith that things will work out for the best. It's encouraging, it's humbling, and it's a reminder as to how much my life is so blessed. How not to take little things for granted, and sometimes, it's ok to allow yourself to ask for help and support both physically and mentally. I'm grateful to my brother for providing me with comfort when I needed it, and for my parents taking time out of their lives to attend to my families needs. I am grateful. I am humble. I am hopeful.
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