Reflection

I've walked around our house at least a dozen times today. I walk from room to room, just to walk. I stop and stare, I get a little misty=eyed, a little catch in my throat, a heavy heart, and I reflect. It's been over 8 years in this house. I remember the day we got the keys and opened the door to our first home. We were so excited. We were thinking of things to do to make the house our own (remember removing the pink kitchen sink was among the first priority and here it is 8 years later and still there!). I've sat on the beds today, I've sat on the couches and in the kitchen chairs. I've turned lights on and off, on and off. Each time I flip, I remember another thing that I loved about it, or things that have happened in this house. Memories etched in stone.
We moved in on our 2nd anniversary. A great anniversary. Our very first home. It was a house way too big for us at that time but we knew eventually it would be full. We have loved all the company that has come many times. Just for coming, for family events, birthdays, holidays, special days, sick days, comforting days, and baby days. I absolutely love having friends and family in my home. I thrive on it actually. We have painted, painted over, painted again, moved furniture, got new furniture, and loved our very first brand new carpet :) We absolutely love our back yard. Although it's small, it's shady and comforting and has provided many, many nights of enjoying the outside and making memories with our kids, as well as sheltered friends and families for visits. We've sat on the porch swing eating bowls and bowls of ice cream. We've sat on the patio roasting marshmallow after marshmallow.
And so filling up the house started later than we thought. Almost exactly 4 years after moving in, we then entered the house with this beautiful baby girl. She had this cute room that I loved to sit in (and boy did we sit and sit and sit). She crawled in this house, she took her first steps in our kitchen. and dropped a ton of food on our floor. Each birthday and holiday we have loved celebrating with her here. This year, we entered the house with baby #2. This sweet, blue eyed little boy. Bringing him home was surreal because now we have 2 kids in this house...it's full to us! We have laughed, cried, cheered, grieved, and even argued in this house. It knows all our secrets and has shared in all our dreams. And after all this time of preparation, all the anguish felt over the past several months, all the readiness to move, I still cannot imagine not coming home to this house. The house of a newly married couples dreams. However, as we all know, every chapter has an ending and the time has come to end this one. We have a new home to go to. New doors to open, new dreams to dream, new rooms to fill, tables to eat at, yards to live on, and refuge to give to friends and family. I'm still a little in denial I think. It's been an amazingly long few months but now that boxes fill my home and emptiness settles in, my heart truly mourns, yet rejoices.
However, I will not look back. I will close the door, I will shed many tears, but I will not look back. This home was the beginning of our life....the next will be a continuation of that. There will be many more chapters to come, and probably, another house. Anyone who knows me knows that I am as emotional as they come. I feel, love and care deeply, and I don't necessarily like change. But I bid this house farewell at last. Dear Home, Thank you for giving us comfort, support, warmth when it was cold and cool when it was hot (and all the stress in between like leaking ceilings and broken water heaters;) ). You, my friend, will always hold a special place in our hearts.
So the next time you hear from us, we will be under one roof again. As a family. And we can start to live, to dream, and to heal. Wish us luck, wish us love, and wish us success. So long Utah. You've been good to us!